LGF (Looking For Group) Guide

See also: Guides

Here are a few experiences I had as I navigate trough the rough seas of LFG.

Part 1: The murky waters of LFG posts

You just left the harbor, and the first thing you see is a brown soup, only giving a glimpse of what is underneath. The following list of posts can help you hire a crew or set up a post:

1. fast run, ridiculous requirement - This guy knows what he is doing, lets invite! WRONG! A shallow reef is underneath, avoid at al costs. This is a person who gets annoyed quickly, undermining the speed and successfulness of the operation.
2. First run / never raided before - These guys are basically anchors you have to drag along (No disrespect, I've been an anchor too, it's just a suitable figure of speech). If you are an experienced captain, you can take 1 or 2 along, if you are a mighty sherpa, you can take 5 and I applaud you sir, I applaud. If you are a shipmate, than you have nothing to say and you should be scrubbing the floor. SCRUB I said! The speed at which the anchor is lifted, depends on the anchor AND the captain. These posts are better suited for the destinysherpa subreddit.
3. Acronyms, short post - Generally knows what he is doing, doesn't complain, HIRE.
4. epxreciend, cna ldoh ish wno. - The drunk, might be fun fun at first, but two days in and all the rum is gone, is frequently sleeping on the job. Don't expect him to do anything useful.
5. Chill" Well... chill - Hire depending on the rest of the post.
6. Can sherpa - Chill dude can be at the helm, at the sail, at the canons or in the galley. HIRE immediately, try to abduct if necessary.
7. Know mechanics - Can go either way, hire at your own discretion.
8. bla, bla, bla, good joke, bla, bla - HIRE. Even if he sucks balls, you'll have a good time.
9. Contradictory post like "chill, fast run." - A seagull in parrots' feathers. Avoid

Part 2: Meeting the crew

Your crew is waiting on an island a few miles from the coast. Upon arriving, you notice nothing is as it seems and that all the above is absolute bullcrap and OP must be an idiot at sea. Based upon the conversation, you should decide to stay or go away:

1. Several of the crew are asking questions about the mechanics. Be prepared the lay death in the water for long periods of time. Some of the crew might try to blow in the sails or use their head as peddles. If you have time and patience (Yes, yes... Let the OCD flow through you.) go ahead, if not politely state that you're gonna walk the plank and leave.
2. One of the crew is asking questions about the mechanics. If the rest seem to know what to do, you can give it a try. Later on, depending on the skill, raid (King's fall is harder to five man then Crota) and learning curve, decide if you want to stay or politely state that you'll leave and than leave.
3. One of the group is complaining about a previous raid group. Sets a negative stage. Avoid.
4. One high pitch voice (non-female of course). Doesn't pose that much of a problem if you are prepared to intervene if annoying behavior is displayed. A small tip to our small guardians, try to not talk too much, don't try to lead and don't brag. In my opinion many of the older players don't like that kind of behavior.
5. Two high pitch voices or more. High risk of mutiny due too infighting. The higher the count the more likely lord of the flies is not just a tale. Only a strong captain can steer clear of self destruction.
6. The crew is joking and not talking about the raid at all. For me this is golden. Regardless of the success, you are going to have a good time. Usually if most of them are joking and relaxed, the majority know what they are doing and you'll sail through (Ha, pun).

Part 3: On the high seas

After several unsuccessful relaunches, you finally depart. The wind picks up and you asses what your team is worth depending on their actions:

1. People dropping dead left and right for no apparent reason, one of the crew is fighting a plank with a spoon, no one is at the helm. Yeah, your group is probably not going to finish the raid, unless a sherpa stands up and takes the wheel. This scenario although difficult and patience testing can be the most satisfactory if you can get everybody in line and finish the raid.
2. The first few miles are a breeze, but at the first sight of a big wave you CAPSIZE. Yeah, your group is probably not going to finish the raid.
3. After a few tries you conquer that big wave. Your raid group has a chance to finish the raid but it's going to take time.
4. Small mistakes are made, people die occasionally. Your group is going to finish the raid even if a raid member has to be replaced.
5. Everybody in your team thinks big waves are there to ride and sea monsters are dinner, crew members tend to stay alive, if you die you get tea-baggged. Relax and enjoy the ride while it lasts, because the raid will be over before you can say:"Barratry". Friends are made.